about me · Author · Emergence Ascended · Emergence Collective · writing

Salvageable

Not all was lost. That chapter that I repeated,(Here is where I talked about that) or I wrote two separate chapters that said the same thing, was salvageable. Only had to delete a thousand or so words and the rest was organized to lead back in the direction I was intending. Whew!

Now I am back at it. I had been thinking hard about my current progress and adding things here and took some stuff out there. Not that I was unhappy with the progress but I felt there were some subtle things that add to the feeling of the story that I think were missing. Not completely there yet but I have more writing to do so I have time.

I am still having slight anxiety about making the sequel to Emergence collective as good, if not better but I am trying to push those negative thoughts out of my head. Can’t let those silly ideas grow. I just need to trust that I can be consistent with my writing and the rest will follow.

about me · Author · Emergence Collective · writing

This might surprise you

There are some surprises in Emergence Collective that I have been careful not to mention in my blog. Although I have been tempted to spill those beans. When I was writing it (the secret surprise) I was constantly thinking “Is this way out there? Are the readers going to enjoy this?” When I asked the editor what she thought of the book (as she was the first person to actually read it), she mentioned it right off, and that was something that she really enjoyed. So all my waffling over it was at least for one person, enjoyable.

It’s more than you think it is….
about me · art · Author · Emergence Ascended · Emergence Collective · Horror · painting · poetry · writing

Don’t follow me I am lost too.

Actually, do follow me, I could use the company. Being an introvert, I don’t have much use for social media. I never got the “thrill” of people “liking” or “Following” my social media profiles. Most of the stuff I post is really for my entertainment and I never really much cared if anyone else is entertained. I hope that they are, just not my priority. Now that I have to have a “presence”  I find that the likes and follows have meaning. But (I imagine) that its different from most peoples experiences.

I do enjoy gaining another follower, and seeing people enjoy my content and throw a like my way. But I get a fair amount of what to me is non-value-added likes and follows. I want people to be moved or entertained genuinely. If you like one of my posts, you actually took the time to read it and digest it find your own meaning in it. That is the thrill I get from it. I get a lo of likes a follows from marketing companies and sales, that are only there to get my attention, maybe use their service. I see no value in padding my numbers with followers and likes, that are not here for my content, just another potential client.

I wanted to take the time to acknowledge those that I see, are “active” on my blog. I see the likes and comments from some of you on a consistent basis. I sincerely appreciate your time, and spending it on my content.

The Worlds Worst Writer (Maybe)

SMVLTRUDEAU

Lifesfinewhine

Edge of Humanity Magazine

Bridgette Tales

ACountryBoy

Hardknocks Hobby & Streetwear

Take the time to check out their blogs! Thank you for visiting!

about me · Author · poetry · writing

Yee olde Correspondences

I grew up in rural Alaska. It is a beautiful, brutal, vast, and sometimes boring place to grow up. Boring for a kid at least. Living on a homestead at the end of a homemade road in a cabin, there are not really many things to do. Of course, I did the usual kid things, made forts in the woods, climbed trees, and did some fishing, but at the end of the day, all these activities were done solitarily. I have a sister, but when she is your only company to play with it can get kind of dull. Our tiny town of Wasilla Had a decent library so books became a thing. I discovered, that you can travel to faraway places with adventures and mysteries to uncover. I started reading a lot. I discovered H.P Lovecraft (Specifically “the strange case of Charles Dexter Ward” and He blew my mind, I was instantly a horror fan. My Dad encouraged Isaac Asimov, and that threw me into the Science Fiction rabbit hole.

My First Favorite Author was H.P. Lovecraft however and I read everything I could get my hands on. I learned about how he would correspond with other authors, pen-pals as it were. Long conversations, that took months and years to have. But as a reader, I, of course, could not have conversations with the authors I read, (Obviously the dead ones were the hardest to reach) But in those days there were very few resources to tap into to even get the conversation started.  So I only could dream of talking to an author about the books I was reading, asking questions, and getting insight into the stories that I may have not picked up on.  Ah the days before the internet. Thank you, Arpanet (the first internet for you youngins).

Fast forward to the future. I grew up, trying my hand at writing, to realize that writing is for the soul, not the pocketbook (or google wallet (again for the youngins)). Make an Author page/blog, get your name out there and see if that works. Not so much yet, but its still new.

The Blog. The point of starting the blog was to promote me, my books, and my writing.  One side effect of writing a blog is that suddenly you are in a community.  Gone are the days of isolation in the Alaskan bush. I have started having great conversations with other authors, trading insights, asking questions, and just getting to know others that are afflicted with the same obsessive need to express our insanity to the world.  I look forward to more conversations, with other authors, and especially if you are a fan of my work, I would very much like to hear from you.

Author · Emergence Ascended · writing

Go with the flow?

Alright! Saturday morning, I’m up early, got some good coffee in my mug and I pull out my laptop. Im feeling good, feeling inspired. It’s been way to long since I wrote anything substantial in my WIP but I am inspired and ready to go. When I am not smashing keys and making words, I’m thinking about the next scene or character development. Saturday I was gonna write a pretty important scene that I have been ruminating about.

I start writing. the clacking of the keyboard is near-constant, except for the occasional breaks to sip more coffee and keep the flow state rolling. Wow, the words are pouring out of me in a fluid stream of consciousness. I write the chapter in one go. Wish I could write like this all the time. I finish the chapter, and by that time, my quiet solitude is coming to an end (as my family is now getting up. I write in the morning before every in the house gets up and starts expecting me to acknowledge their existence).

Before I close the laptop I give a quick skim over the chapters to make sure that everything is lining up and the story is going where I want. I start reading chapter 5, and it’s very familiar, I keep going and as it turns out, It was almost identical to the chapter I just wrote. Really? Of course, I have been thinking hard about this part of the story, cause it’s an important plot thingy, but how could I have actually forgot that I already added it in? Maybe I should read my own stuff more often. Really, more to the point, I shouldn’t allow myself to get so distracted that I forget where I am at. Sheesh. Have any of you ever done something that silly?

about me · Author · Emergence Ascended · Emergence Collective · writing

Fresh perspectives, everything you want in life is on the other side of fear.

Getting my head back into the game, thinking about my current work in progress.  I have not written anything significant on my WIP for a month (wow time flies) or so. Chapter 8, of Emergence Ascended, is not what I want it to be.  I’ve been thinking of a rewrite, putting in additional details and what message this chapter sends, and how the story will progress from here.  I suppose this chapter is a pivotal moment in the storyline. But rethinking what I am trying to express, has made me start to rethink some of the earlier chapters, and nearly a complete rewrite of one of the characters. Don’t get me wrong, I am not struggling with it but there are things that I wanted to illustrate in Emergence Collective that I don’t think I clearly articulated.

There are some pretty complicated concepts that are the meat of my “Hippy Scifi” (thx for coining a new genre name, T.A.Walker) narrative that needs to be described. The character also have a tangled mess of interactions and relationships that need some serious thought, (starting from the earlier chapters.)

I have never done a rewrite. What you see is what word vomit spilled out at the time. Only a few minor changes in sentence structure or grammar stuffs, maybe I rewrote an entire paragraph once or twice. As a new writer, I am not sure if this is considered normal or not. My fear is that if I start to rearrange my thoughts (that I had at the time) when I wrote it, that I will lose what my intention for where the story was going.

How many of you rewrite your work? I am hoping that maybe I am starting to mature as a writer and these little fears about ruining it by rewriting are simply that, a silly fear.

about me · Author · writing

Prairie Doggin’

I never promised anything. Nonetheless, I feel bad that I have not been active on the blog as of late. It’s the work thing still, it just keeps dragging on. I don’t want this blog to be a place where you are just reading about me complaining about it. (Honestly, it’s not that bad). I enjoy what I do, it is an exciting time in history to be involved in some of the projects that I am involved with. It is just keeping me busier than I want to be currently, and there is bit of stress that is repressing some creativity. That being said I thought I would just prairie dog my head out of my bubble and say hi, and reassure you that I am not abandoning the blog! I’m just distracted. I have full intentions of getting back to posting regularly. Feel free to drop a comment, ask a question or just say hi!

art · Author · Emergence Ascended · Emergence Collective · Horror · writing

Totes!

Ever have a day where you have too much to hold on to with just your hands? maybe all of those 80’s classic horror VHS tapes and Philosophy books are too much to handle at once. You might need to sort a Tote bag!

this is the first rendition, I am not great at digital art. My photoshop skills were never developed. I tend to use analog media for my art. But I am pretty ok with this design. This will make much more sense (once I finish and publish) when you read the Sequel to “Emergence Collective,” “Emergence, Ascended.” I like “easter eggs” in books and games. shhhh………

art · Author · poetry · writing

Resource management.

On some days, our internet connection slows down, typically in the evenings. My family gets frustrated and starts getting angry at our service provider. I try to explain to them how bandwidth works in how we are at the end of the line. “Imagine a water pipe that is ‘this’ big around.” I make a circle with my hands about 4 inches around. “That’s how much internet we have access to. And, if no one else in our neighborhood is using it, we get it all. But now, imagine everyone in the neighborhood tapping into that pipe. The more people using it simultaneously, the amount we have access to at the end is ‘this much.'” I make a much smaller circle with my hands. This explanation, albeit a little clumsy, helps to illustrate why we have less bandwidth sometimes than others.

                It also is an excellent example of my creative resources. The bandwidth in my brain has been drained lately due to recent work-related stuff, and my concentration is dedicated almost solely to that. The trade-off is that there is no more room left for my creativity. The bandwidth has been used up. It has been a dog’s age since I wrote anything in Emergence, Ascended. And the last chapter I wrote, well, it’s crap.

After this work stuff is finished, I can get my head back into my stories again, that warm, happy place I live in, to forget all the Adulting

Author · writing

Living an Altruistic life. A journey of self-healing

Here is a little piece I wrote for a friends webs site. It never got used, so I thought I would share it here.


To begin the journey of finding peace in oneself starts with healing the wounds that scar our inner harmony. We must reconcile our selfish nature and let go of the egos that control us, our actions, and affect others around us. Release negativity and find solace in the simple act of being Altruistic.

There is a quote by Mother Teresa that had a profound effect on my life. “If you cant save the world, save just one person.” In retrospect, it seems obvious that we as a people see the enormity of the world’s problem and feel that it is too overwhelming to be of any help. But to save just one is to protect the whole because that simple act may have a butterfly effect that changes our world by order of magnitude larger.

There may be a correlation between Karmic beliefs and Altruism, but neither is synonymous with each other. Karma can be a tricky thing, and there is a lot of internalizing and conflicting emotions; if I help the old lady cross the street, am I doing this for the sake of being altruistic, or am I doing it to selfishly feel that “I did a good thing”.Is our motivation to be seen doing good? Or to acquire the accolades of service from those that help. It is a complicated game. To expect Karmic retribution, does that negate the Karmic effect? You have to look deep inside yourself to know those answers, but to feel good for being altruistic doesn’t negate the action. How you feel about it does not alter the end result, The old lady was safely led to her destination, and all is well. To enjoy the satisfaction is not Karmically damaging as long as your intentions are genuine.

Living our life with intention in our behaviors every day is a step to self-healing and inner harmony. To be intentional in our actions, doing good every day, for the sake of it. It has that butterfly effect around us. The pass it forward concept is a prime example of true Altruism. To spread the good intentions and Altruism of others and share in that with our fellow humanity and the world at large.

As the ego dies and one finds themselves to be less concerned about the self, Altruism becomes second nature, as we all are in the beginning selfless and in harmony with ourselves and nature. Our souls are pure and not jaded by the world around us; it is easy to be compassionate and considerate of others. Living an altruistic life is a healing that we can all accomplish and find harmony within ourselves. Those around us will emulate that intention, and the harmony we find in ourselves will be found in the world around us.