Just a quick post on Saturday. This whole writing thing keeps bringing new rewards. I wrote a particularly satisfying chapter today. As I feel I am still new to the writing thing, I know that the struggle is real, but I think that those feelings of futility and creative struggles have a tendency to overshadow some of the personal revelations and rewards that one can get from writing. One thing is that I write because of the compulsion to let out my creative impulse. But that sounds sterile and somewhat clinical, I find genuine enjoyment in writing. While it is not really a new experience, today I felt a profound enjoyment as the words flowed, and there was a full circle moment in the plot and a definite connection to the first book that was quite gratifying. Thanks for visiting!
Here is an excerpt from Emergence Ascended. The sequel to Emergence collective.
Barney materialized right in front of her, making her nearly jump out of her chair backward. She skittered back, wheeling the chair until it collided with her desk, knocking her laptop onto the floor as she toppled over. Serenity scrambled to her feet, never taking her eyes off of Barney while she frantically searched for anything that could be used as a weapon, but all she could find was a pair of scissors. Not completely satisfied, but it was all she had; she waved the scissors around and jabbed them at Barney. “Who the fuck are you, and how did you get in here?” she screamed. Still jabbing the scissors at him. Barney just chuckled at her; it was funny to him how she nearly flipped backward. And now with the scissors.
Seeing Barney laugh at her pissed her off, overtaking any fear she had just felt. “I’m gonna fucking gut you mother fucker!” she screamed as she lunged toward him. He barely moved; with a twitch of his wrist, he blocked the scissors, knocking them out of her hand and sending them sliding across the floor, then grabbing her wrist in the same motion.
Serenity yanked her arm, trying to pull free from Barney’s iron grip but only managed to pull herself closer to him. Not missing an opportunity, she raised her knee with a grunt connecting solidly with his crotch. With an “oof!’ Barney dropped to a knee doubling over in excruciating pain that made him suddenly nauseous. “Enough!” he bellowed as he pushed her away, sending her off balance, and stood up. She backpedaled, landing on her sofa. She frantically looked around, eyes darting this way and that, searching for another weapon.
I managed to squirrel away some time and got a solid chapter out of the way. I haven’t been writing for very long, a lot of the experiences are new to me. The last chapter I wrote had some powerful stuff that had me feeling emotional for a while after I finished it. That was a new experience, and I hope that translates to the reader. I feel that “If I’m not excited about my story, then the reader isn’t going to be either.” So writing this chapter I am suddenly very curious if the reader is going to have half the reaction that I did writing it. Im not going to go so far as saying that it is my best writing yet, but I’m still gonna pat myself on the back for it. I am glad that I put off other life duties and let the moment go where it wanted. I think writing is a lot like golf, where most of the time it seems to be an exercise of futility sprinkled with little moments of glory, which is enough to make it worth it.
Honestly, I did not want this blog to be “A place where I discuss my whining journey.” Just when I was getting back into the groove of writing, ideas flowing easy, motivation up, inspired… Life throws a curveball. I had just been on holiday; I went camping in the mountains. I came back to work and found that a very valuable member of my crew is leaving the company. Of course, her reasoning behind it, I support and am happy that she is making a decision to improve her life, but it leaves me in a bind. Taking on the work that she does as well as my usual duties until I find a replacement. (By the way, anyone looking for a job in the Pacific Northwest?) That means working overtime and all of my side projects outside of work are getting sidelined… again. That being said, I have not been as diligent as I should be to posting on the blog, and I apologize to those that read my post and may have wondered why I haven’t been posting as much. (I want to post, if not every day, at least a few times a week.)
On another subject, sort of part 2 of “Ants in my brain”. While on holiday, I took the time to review my WIP “Emergence Ascended”. Stepping back and giving it a thorough review, I am actually very happy with it. So those pesky ANTs were just that. Keep that in mind, that “Nothing is as good or bad as thinking makes it so”. Of course, now that I am happy and passed the self-doubt, I am excited and motivated to get this thing finished. I will keep plucking away at it, knowing that the progress is slowed, it’s not stopped. Thanks for checking out my blog, I do appreciate your interest!
Sometimes I need some mental pest control. “I am visualizing a can of bug spray”…. There is something I heard from Dr.Wayne Dyer (A self-development guy) about “automatic negative thoughts”. Or “A.N.T’s The idea kinda stuck with me. I consider myself to be an unapologetic optimist. As a human, I am flawed so sometimes that optimism waivers a little. I am repulsed by perpetually negative people and do my best not to participate. That is probably why I struggle with social media. Since it is a fantastic platform to be heard, that opens the door and safety valve of every complaint or dispute that just clutters our environment social, petty behavior that should really be between only those intimately involved, and drowns out the positive stuff.
As an artist/writer/creative dude there is a near-constant buzz of ANTs in the background. My particular ant with my writing “is the pacing of the story on point, is the reader getting bored?” So… ANTs in my brain, I do try to stomp them out as soon as they happen, at the very least acknowledge that is what they are, and consciously try to push them aside. “Emergence, Ascended,” is coming along nicely, and (like I said, trying to stomp those ants) as I imagine the story as a whole, I think I am doing pretty good. The story itself seems to be getting longer and longer. There is a lot that I want to say in it, but I just have to get there. I reassure myself that this book will probably be about twice as long as the first, which is not bad. I am not expecting a particular length or word count; just keep writing until it’s finished. The ANT in that thought is back to “I hope the reader isn’t bored and waiting to get to the bloodshed. In the end, if the book isn’t very good, not many will know about it (Judging by current book sales of the one I think is good) 😉 So there is that
I’m back in that happy place of creativity. With the stress of adulting gone (well, of course, not entirely), the significant sources of stress have settled)) my creativity gets to retake control with art and my writing. I feel that by now, I should have finished this book, but life gets overcome by events sometimes. That being said, I’m back at it with full force! The story (Emergence, Ascended) is back to the flow state where the words are coming, I’m happy with the direction it’s going, and all the puzzle pieces fit together the way I imagined. Maybe I am feeling particularly optimistic now that it is summer and the sun rays are bumping my serotonin or whatever. I’m not going to complain about it, but I’m feeling pretty good.
I still have a little anxiety over the pacing of the story. Maybe I am unconsciously “waiting to get to the good part.” Since I know where it’s going, perhaps I am impatient to start writing the fun parts. When I am on the cusp of knitting together all the plot points that lead to those good parts, I get excited.
Patience is my current lesson right now. Honestly, I am trying to suppress my impatience; I really want to finish this book! But for reasons that are a little silly. I mean, I want to finish the story because, duh. But I have several other stories that are tired of waiting in line to get written. SO far, I have about 13k words, and things are just now starting to make sense (I hope), and there is no telling how many more there is to the story. I have no idea how long this book will be, but it’s shaping up to be longer than the first in the Duology.
Call to arms… If there is any of you out there that wants to beta read, please send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org, comment or connect via my social media found on my about page. I would sincerely appreciate it!
Thanks for stopping by.
I took a step back and really looked at what I had written so far In “Emergence Ascended” (The sequel to “Emergence Collective.” You really have to read, trust me it’s worth it.). I wasn’t satisfied with my character, as I wanted to add more character to the character. I have a specific idea of how this character is supposed to read. So, I took some time from adding new content to the story and dug a bit deeper into the character, and reinforced some of the more important character traits that I wanted to express. It is hard for me to show, not tell how you are supposed to perceive the character. But I gave it my best shot. I am somewhat happier with how it reads and even though I am blinded by the fact that I already know how the character is supposed to be perceived, (I have to pretend that I don’t, as I write it).
I think it is very important to the story overall, how the character is initially perceived since later in the story it explains a lot. (things that are not plot specific, but add important elements or subtext to the story.
One of my favorite Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens for those who know) quotes. “Eat a Live Frog Every Morning, and Nothing Worse Will Happen to You the Rest of the Day.” I am only mentioning this because its Monday. Monday is my frog, so after this, it’s all downhill. I had a relaxing weekend. Got some writing done, and I am getting excited about the story (Emergence Ascended) I spent some time working with my laser. Doing some fun side projects and managed to make 3 pendulum boards (Scrying boards). I upgraded my laser and I am very happy with it. My projects burn faster and I can do more with it. My next project it to burn some more Ouija boards, which usually sell (Etsy) out during the Halloween season so I am getting ahead of that, making sure I have the inventory to support demand.
I have another exciting bit of news, hopefully I will get the expected email today, and once that happens I will post all about it! Thank you for taking the time to visit! Don’t be shy, say hi in the comments!
Ahh, things are getting back to normal, and I’m getting in the writing groove.
My work life is settled; there are high-stress times of the year when I have to be 100% adulting, and my focus has to be laser-sharp. That being said, everything else has to be pushed away to maintain focus (due to Attention deficit disorder)…. Um, where was I? oh yeah. My home life, though it’s not in a bad place, but nature decided to kick me in the jewels, and during a windstorm, my neighbor’s dead tree decided to fall on my house and vehicle. *Side note, there is an interesting story about that vehicle. It involves bullet holes, theft, robbery, meth addicts, and sadly the death of a policeman. Comment if you want to hear that one…* oops getting lost again.
Anyway, things are mellowing out, and I’m feeling the creativity swell, and I feel good about the direction things are going with my next novel, The sequel to Emergence collective. (You should probably read it) I am still keeping negativity (anxiety, confidence, is this as good as the first?) tamped down (or trying).
If anyone out there likes to do beta reading and Id be happy to share send me an email to email@example.com
Thanks for visiting
Not all was lost. That chapter that I repeated,(Here is where I talked about that) or I wrote two separate chapters that said the same thing, was salvageable. Only had to delete a thousand or so words and the rest was organized to lead back in the direction I was intending. Whew!
Now I am back at it. I had been thinking hard about my current progress and adding things here and took some stuff out there. Not that I was unhappy with the progress but I felt there were some subtle things that add to the feeling of the story that I think were missing. Not completely there yet but I have more writing to do so I have time.
I am still having slight anxiety about making the sequel to Emergence collective as good, if not better but I am trying to push those negative thoughts out of my head. Can’t let those silly ideas grow. I just need to trust that I can be consistent with my writing and the rest will follow.