I never voiced this out loud, but in my head, I called it. “I’m going to give this guy a chance, a boost to start his career, and he is gonna kill my character tonight.” Aaaaaaaaand it happened. my character in D&D was ambushed by a mind flayer. I think he felt bad since we spent a lot of time trying to resurrect the character without too much “divine intervention.” The Friday game went as I expected. We did, however, despite the game of pretending, get an opportunity to go over some mental notes on the narration for “Emergence collective” foo Audible. I have all the recording equipment ordered and on its way. Things are right on track to begin recording, and I couldn’t be happier. As I mentioned in a previous post, I had a great writing session this weekend so things all around are going smoothly. (Now if I can just figure out how to get these two characters to meet) but that’s my problem)). Thanks for taking the time to check out my blog!
Just a quick post on Saturday. This whole writing thing keeps bringing new rewards. I wrote a particularly satisfying chapter today. As I feel I am still new to the writing thing, I know that the struggle is real, but I think that those feelings of futility and creative struggles have a tendency to overshadow some of the personal revelations and rewards that one can get from writing. One thing is that I write because of the compulsion to let out my creative impulse. But that sounds sterile and somewhat clinical, I find genuine enjoyment in writing. While it is not really a new experience, today I felt a profound enjoyment as the words flowed, and there was a full circle moment in the plot and a definite connection to the first book that was quite gratifying. Thanks for visiting!
Wow, this week seemed to last forever. Im looking forward to recharging my mental batteries. I have a D&D session tonight, Im excited about (going to hunt some rust monsters that are currently plaguing the town). Its fun to play make-believe, and I think it keeps one creative. I plan on getting a lot of writing tomorrow, since I haven’t had the chance to write all week. Not a bad thing though. Ive been “writing” in my head the whole time, going over the overall story and planning how to connect some storylines together. The Audible project is full steam ahead. I have recording equipment picked out, and I have lots of notes to go over with the narrator.
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Here is a little piece I wrote for a friends webs site. It never got used, so I thought I would share it here.
To begin the journey of finding peace in oneself starts with healing the wounds that scar our inner harmony. We must reconcile our selfish nature and let go of the egos that control us, our actions, and affect others around us. Release negativity and find solace in the simple act of being Altruistic.
There is a quote by Mother Teresa that had a profound effect on my life. “If you cant save the world, save just one person.” In retrospect, it seems obvious that we as a people see the enormity of the world’s problem and feel that it is too overwhelming to be of any help. But to save just one is to protect the whole because that simple act may have a butterfly effect that changes our world by order of magnitude larger.
There may be a correlation between Karmic beliefs and Altruism, but neither is synonymous with each other. Karma can be a tricky thing, and there is a lot of internalizing and conflicting emotions; if I help the old lady cross the street, am I doing this for the sake of being altruistic, or am I doing it to selfishly feel that “I did a good thing”.Is our motivation to be seen doing good? Or to acquire the accolades of service from those that help. It is a complicated game. To expect Karmic retribution, does that negate the Karmic effect? You have to look deep inside yourself to know those answers, but to feel good for being altruistic doesn’t negate the action. How you feel about it does not alter the end result, The old lady was safely led to her destination, and all is well. To enjoy the satisfaction is not Karmically damaging as long as your intentions are genuine.
Living our life with intention in our behaviors every day is a step to self-healing and inner harmony. To be intentional in our actions, doing good every day, for the sake of it. It has that butterfly effect around us. The pass it forward concept is a prime example of true Altruism. To spread the good intentions and Altruism of others and share in that with our fellow humanity and the world at large.
As the ego dies and one finds themselves to be less concerned about the self, Altruism becomes second nature, as we all are in the beginning selfless and in harmony with ourselves and nature. Our souls are pure and not jaded by the world around us; it is easy to be compassionate and considerate of others. Living an altruistic life is a healing that we can all accomplish and find harmony within ourselves. Those around us will emulate that intention, and the harmony we find in ourselves will be found in the world around us.
Here is an excerpt from Emergence Ascended. The sequel to Emergence collective.
Barney materialized right in front of her, making her nearly jump out of her chair backward. She skittered back, wheeling the chair until it collided with her desk, knocking her laptop onto the floor as she toppled over. Serenity scrambled to her feet, never taking her eyes off of Barney while she frantically searched for anything that could be used as a weapon, but all she could find was a pair of scissors. Not completely satisfied, but it was all she had; she waved the scissors around and jabbed them at Barney. “Who the fuck are you, and how did you get in here?” she screamed. Still jabbing the scissors at him. Barney just chuckled at her; it was funny to him how she nearly flipped backward. And now with the scissors.
Seeing Barney laugh at her pissed her off, overtaking any fear she had just felt. “I’m gonna fucking gut you mother fucker!” she screamed as she lunged toward him. He barely moved; with a twitch of his wrist, he blocked the scissors, knocking them out of her hand and sending them sliding across the floor, then grabbing her wrist in the same motion.
Serenity yanked her arm, trying to pull free from Barney’s iron grip but only managed to pull herself closer to him. Not missing an opportunity, she raised her knee with a grunt connecting solidly with his crotch. With an “oof!’ Barney dropped to a knee doubling over in excruciating pain that made him suddenly nauseous. “Enough!” he bellowed as he pushed her away, sending her off balance, and stood up. She backpedaled, landing on her sofa. She frantically looked around, eyes darting this way and that, searching for another weapon.
I managed to squirrel away some time and got a solid chapter out of the way. I haven’t been writing for very long, a lot of the experiences are new to me. The last chapter I wrote had some powerful stuff that had me feeling emotional for a while after I finished it. That was a new experience, and I hope that translates to the reader. I feel that “If I’m not excited about my story, then the reader isn’t going to be either.” So writing this chapter I am suddenly very curious if the reader is going to have half the reaction that I did writing it. Im not going to go so far as saying that it is my best writing yet, but I’m still gonna pat myself on the back for it. I am glad that I put off other life duties and let the moment go where it wanted. I think writing is a lot like golf, where most of the time it seems to be an exercise of futility sprinkled with little moments of glory, which is enough to make it worth it.
Before I finish the sequel to “Emergence Collective”, “Emergence Ascended”, you should probably read it. So far I have 5 out of 5 star reviews on amazon! So, you might actually enjoy reading it. If you don’t, I also appreciate honest reviews that are, ya know less than 5 stars (but I can take it as long as your constructive criticism is just that).
Honestly, I did not want this blog to be “A place where I discuss my whining journey.” Just when I was getting back into the groove of writing, ideas flowing easy, motivation up, inspired… Life throws a curveball. I had just been on holiday; I went camping in the mountains. I came back to work and found that a very valuable member of my crew is leaving the company. Of course, her reasoning behind it, I support and am happy that she is making a decision to improve her life, but it leaves me in a bind. Taking on the work that she does as well as my usual duties until I find a replacement. (By the way, anyone looking for a job in the Pacific Northwest?) That means working overtime and all of my side projects outside of work are getting sidelined… again. That being said, I have not been as diligent as I should be to posting on the blog, and I apologize to those that read my post and may have wondered why I haven’t been posting as much. (I want to post, if not every day, at least a few times a week.)
On another subject, sort of part 2 of “Ants in my brain”. While on holiday, I took the time to review my WIP “Emergence Ascended”. Stepping back and giving it a thorough review, I am actually very happy with it. So those pesky ANTs were just that. Keep that in mind, that “Nothing is as good or bad as thinking makes it so”. Of course, now that I am happy and passed the self-doubt, I am excited and motivated to get this thing finished. I will keep plucking away at it, knowing that the progress is slowed, it’s not stopped. Thanks for checking out my blog, I do appreciate your interest!
Sometimes I need some mental pest control. “I am visualizing a can of bug spray”…. There is something I heard from Dr.Wayne Dyer (A self-development guy) about “automatic negative thoughts”. Or “A.N.T’s The idea kinda stuck with me. I consider myself to be an unapologetic optimist. As a human, I am flawed so sometimes that optimism waivers a little. I am repulsed by perpetually negative people and do my best not to participate. That is probably why I struggle with social media. Since it is a fantastic platform to be heard, that opens the door and safety valve of every complaint or dispute that just clutters our environment social, petty behavior that should really be between only those intimately involved, and drowns out the positive stuff.
As an artist/writer/creative dude there is a near-constant buzz of ANTs in the background. My particular ant with my writing “is the pacing of the story on point, is the reader getting bored?” So… ANTs in my brain, I do try to stomp them out as soon as they happen, at the very least acknowledge that is what they are, and consciously try to push them aside. “Emergence, Ascended,” is coming along nicely, and (like I said, trying to stomp those ants) as I imagine the story as a whole, I think I am doing pretty good. The story itself seems to be getting longer and longer. There is a lot that I want to say in it, but I just have to get there. I reassure myself that this book will probably be about twice as long as the first, which is not bad. I am not expecting a particular length or word count; just keep writing until it’s finished. The ANT in that thought is back to “I hope the reader isn’t bored and waiting to get to the bloodshed. In the end, if the book isn’t very good, not many will know about it (Judging by current book sales of the one I think is good) 😉 So there is that
I’m back in that happy place of creativity. With the stress of adulting gone (well, of course, not entirely), the significant sources of stress have settled)) my creativity gets to retake control with art and my writing. I feel that by now, I should have finished this book, but life gets overcome by events sometimes. That being said, I’m back at it with full force! The story (Emergence, Ascended) is back to the flow state where the words are coming, I’m happy with the direction it’s going, and all the puzzle pieces fit together the way I imagined. Maybe I am feeling particularly optimistic now that it is summer and the sun rays are bumping my serotonin or whatever. I’m not going to complain about it, but I’m feeling pretty good.
I still have a little anxiety over the pacing of the story. Maybe I am unconsciously “waiting to get to the good part.” Since I know where it’s going, perhaps I am impatient to start writing the fun parts. When I am on the cusp of knitting together all the plot points that lead to those good parts, I get excited.
Patience is my current lesson right now. Honestly, I am trying to suppress my impatience; I really want to finish this book! But for reasons that are a little silly. I mean, I want to finish the story because, duh. But I have several other stories that are tired of waiting in line to get written. SO far, I have about 13k words, and things are just now starting to make sense (I hope), and there is no telling how many more there is to the story. I have no idea how long this book will be, but it’s shaping up to be longer than the first in the Duology.
Call to arms… If there is any of you out there that wants to beta read, please send an email to email@example.com, comment or connect via my social media found on my about page. I would sincerely appreciate it!
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