about me · art · Author · Emergence Ascended · Emergence Collective · Horror · painting · poetry · writing

Don’t follow me I am lost too.

Actually, do follow me, I could use the company. Being an introvert, I don’t have much use for social media. I never got the “thrill” of people “liking” or “Following” my social media profiles. Most of the stuff I post is really for my entertainment and I never really much cared if anyone else is entertained. I hope that they are, just not my priority. Now that I have to have a “presence”  I find that the likes and follows have meaning. But (I imagine) that its different from most peoples experiences.

I do enjoy gaining another follower, and seeing people enjoy my content and throw a like my way. But I get a fair amount of what to me is non-value-added likes and follows. I want people to be moved or entertained genuinely. If you like one of my posts, you actually took the time to read it and digest it find your own meaning in it. That is the thrill I get from it. I get a lo of likes a follows from marketing companies and sales, that are only there to get my attention, maybe use their service. I see no value in padding my numbers with followers and likes, that are not here for my content, just another potential client.

I wanted to take the time to acknowledge those that I see, are “active” on my blog. I see the likes and comments from some of you on a consistent basis. I sincerely appreciate your time, and spending it on my content.

The Worlds Worst Writer (Maybe)

SMVLTRUDEAU

Lifesfinewhine

Edge of Humanity Magazine

Bridgette Tales

ACountryBoy

Hardknocks Hobby & Streetwear

Take the time to check out their blogs! Thank you for visiting!

about me · Author · poetry · writing

Yee olde Correspondences

I grew up in rural Alaska. It is a beautiful, brutal, vast, and sometimes boring place to grow up. Boring for a kid at least. Living on a homestead at the end of a homemade road in a cabin, there are not really many things to do. Of course, I did the usual kid things, made forts in the woods, climbed trees, and did some fishing, but at the end of the day, all these activities were done solitarily. I have a sister, but when she is your only company to play with it can get kind of dull. Our tiny town of Wasilla Had a decent library so books became a thing. I discovered, that you can travel to faraway places with adventures and mysteries to uncover. I started reading a lot. I discovered H.P Lovecraft (Specifically “the strange case of Charles Dexter Ward” and He blew my mind, I was instantly a horror fan. My Dad encouraged Isaac Asimov, and that threw me into the Science Fiction rabbit hole.

My First Favorite Author was H.P. Lovecraft however and I read everything I could get my hands on. I learned about how he would correspond with other authors, pen-pals as it were. Long conversations, that took months and years to have. But as a reader, I, of course, could not have conversations with the authors I read, (Obviously the dead ones were the hardest to reach) But in those days there were very few resources to tap into to even get the conversation started.  So I only could dream of talking to an author about the books I was reading, asking questions, and getting insight into the stories that I may have not picked up on.  Ah the days before the internet. Thank you, Arpanet (the first internet for you youngins).

Fast forward to the future. I grew up, trying my hand at writing, to realize that writing is for the soul, not the pocketbook (or google wallet (again for the youngins)). Make an Author page/blog, get your name out there and see if that works. Not so much yet, but its still new.

The Blog. The point of starting the blog was to promote me, my books, and my writing.  One side effect of writing a blog is that suddenly you are in a community.  Gone are the days of isolation in the Alaskan bush. I have started having great conversations with other authors, trading insights, asking questions, and just getting to know others that are afflicted with the same obsessive need to express our insanity to the world.  I look forward to more conversations, with other authors, and especially if you are a fan of my work, I would very much like to hear from you.

Author · Emergence Ascended · writing

Go with the flow?

Alright! Saturday morning, I’m up early, got some good coffee in my mug and I pull out my laptop. Im feeling good, feeling inspired. It’s been way to long since I wrote anything substantial in my WIP but I am inspired and ready to go. When I am not smashing keys and making words, I’m thinking about the next scene or character development. Saturday I was gonna write a pretty important scene that I have been ruminating about.

I start writing. the clacking of the keyboard is near-constant, except for the occasional breaks to sip more coffee and keep the flow state rolling. Wow, the words are pouring out of me in a fluid stream of consciousness. I write the chapter in one go. Wish I could write like this all the time. I finish the chapter, and by that time, my quiet solitude is coming to an end (as my family is now getting up. I write in the morning before every in the house gets up and starts expecting me to acknowledge their existence).

Before I close the laptop I give a quick skim over the chapters to make sure that everything is lining up and the story is going where I want. I start reading chapter 5, and it’s very familiar, I keep going and as it turns out, It was almost identical to the chapter I just wrote. Really? Of course, I have been thinking hard about this part of the story, cause it’s an important plot thingy, but how could I have actually forgot that I already added it in? Maybe I should read my own stuff more often. Really, more to the point, I shouldn’t allow myself to get so distracted that I forget where I am at. Sheesh. Have any of you ever done something that silly?

writing

Wild speculations on Recursive time loops

Imagine if you will, that time is shaped like a vinyl record and we all sit in our groove. But the record is liquid, a still pond. When you toss a stone the surface ripples outward in all directions. The ripple expands and eventually comes into contact with your groove. What happens? Now, we have not experienced the event of the stone striking the surface (event) but only the ripple of the event, a collective emotional energy wave crossing time-space.  Perhaps, for whatever reason, some people are subtly aware of the ripple. Maybe they get a strange sensation of unease, but since they did not experience the event itself, they have no awareness of the details of the event, just that they know that something did/will/had happened. Also depending on the extreme nature of the event, or events, that happen all the time to some degree or another (like raindrops on a pond, and then the large event like a stone) most people may or may not notice the ripple at all. How far did the ripple travel before it came to our awareness? Do the ripples from the past get negated by the future ripples, fading them from our memories?

 I remember, for a long time (6 months) before Covid, that I had an intense sensation of some coming dread and doom that increased in intensity. I could not pinpoint the feeling nor could I possibly know, but when the pandemic actually happened, that sense of dread sort of caught up and I no longer had the weird sensation. I am not saying I predicted anything, or that there is a correlation to the pandemic. But this sensation got me to think about potential future events that may have people feeling the same thing I did.  I am again feeling that weird unease feeling like something is building, another big event that is going to create chaos.

Honestly, I am on the fence about precognition or psychic ability. I have a scientific mindset and a non-theist, all the woo woo hippy stuff, I tend to disregard, but the irony is that the more we learn about how the universe works the more connections can be made that could prove that some of these phenomena have less to do with chanting Latin and burning sage. To my writer’s mind, these musings give me material to work with. The concept of casual and recursive time loops has given me a few story ideas that I am excited to get down on paper.

about me · Author · Emergence Ascended · Emergence Collective · writing

Fresh perspectives, everything you want in life is on the other side of fear.

Getting my head back into the game, thinking about my current work in progress.  I have not written anything significant on my WIP for a month (wow time flies) or so. Chapter 8, of Emergence Ascended, is not what I want it to be.  I’ve been thinking of a rewrite, putting in additional details and what message this chapter sends, and how the story will progress from here.  I suppose this chapter is a pivotal moment in the storyline. But rethinking what I am trying to express, has made me start to rethink some of the earlier chapters, and nearly a complete rewrite of one of the characters. Don’t get me wrong, I am not struggling with it but there are things that I wanted to illustrate in Emergence Collective that I don’t think I clearly articulated.

There are some pretty complicated concepts that are the meat of my “Hippy Scifi” (thx for coining a new genre name, T.A.Walker) narrative that needs to be described. The character also have a tangled mess of interactions and relationships that need some serious thought, (starting from the earlier chapters.)

I have never done a rewrite. What you see is what word vomit spilled out at the time. Only a few minor changes in sentence structure or grammar stuffs, maybe I rewrote an entire paragraph once or twice. As a new writer, I am not sure if this is considered normal or not. My fear is that if I start to rearrange my thoughts (that I had at the time) when I wrote it, that I will lose what my intention for where the story was going.

How many of you rewrite your work? I am hoping that maybe I am starting to mature as a writer and these little fears about ruining it by rewriting are simply that, a silly fear.

art · Author · Emergence Ascended · Emergence Collective · Horror · writing

Totes!

Ever have a day where you have too much to hold on to with just your hands? maybe all of those 80’s classic horror VHS tapes and Philosophy books are too much to handle at once. You might need to sort a Tote bag!

this is the first rendition, I am not great at digital art. My photoshop skills were never developed. I tend to use analog media for my art. But I am pretty ok with this design. This will make much more sense (once I finish and publish) when you read the Sequel to “Emergence Collective,” “Emergence, Ascended.” I like “easter eggs” in books and games. shhhh………

art · Author · poetry · writing

Resource management.

On some days, our internet connection slows down, typically in the evenings. My family gets frustrated and starts getting angry at our service provider. I try to explain to them how bandwidth works in how we are at the end of the line. “Imagine a water pipe that is ‘this’ big around.” I make a circle with my hands about 4 inches around. “That’s how much internet we have access to. And, if no one else in our neighborhood is using it, we get it all. But now, imagine everyone in the neighborhood tapping into that pipe. The more people using it simultaneously, the amount we have access to at the end is ‘this much.'” I make a much smaller circle with my hands. This explanation, albeit a little clumsy, helps to illustrate why we have less bandwidth sometimes than others.

                It also is an excellent example of my creative resources. The bandwidth in my brain has been drained lately due to recent work-related stuff, and my concentration is dedicated almost solely to that. The trade-off is that there is no more room left for my creativity. The bandwidth has been used up. It has been a dog’s age since I wrote anything in Emergence, Ascended. And the last chapter I wrote, well, it’s crap.

After this work stuff is finished, I can get my head back into my stories again, that warm, happy place I live in, to forget all the Adulting

about me · Author · Emergence Collective · writing

Busy Wednesday

Here is a repost of T.A.Walker‘s AKA “the Bookie”, review of “Emergence Collective.” Seriously give it a listen.


Part 1 (click here to listen)

A fellow blogger T.A. Walker picked up “Emergence collective” and is currently reading it. She will present her synopsis and commentary about it on her audio blog (?) Podcast(?) I highly suggest you check out her blog and see what else she has been reading https://tawalkerfreewriterlife.wordpress.com/

Part 2 (click here to listen)

A fellow blogger T.A. Walker picked up “Emergence collective” and is currently reading it. She will present her synopsis and commentary about it on her audio blog (?) Podcast(?) I highly suggest you check out her blog and see what else she has been reading https://tawalkerfreewriterlife.wordpress.com/

Finale! (click here to listen)

A fellow blogger T.A. Walker picked up “Emergence collective” and is currently reading it. She will present her synopsis and commentary about it on her audio blog (?) Podcast(?) I highly suggest you check out her blog and see what else she has been reading https://tawalkerfreewriterlife.wordpress.com/

Horror · Uncategorized · writing

Happy Monday

Back at it for us working-class people, the weekend is done now back to the grind. I hope Everyone enjoyed the story “Alone.” Let me know what you thought in the comments section!

Here is an idea I am workshopping. Its quick one, sort of flash fiction.. Have fun!


Phantom Black

The beam of light pierced the veil. Like an ugly knife wound tearing a rough, misshapen hole in the darkness. The light touched a tentacle of the creature, a warm tingle drawing its attention. Confused and curious, it extended its tentacles, reaching, feeling the jagged edges of the opening. It wrapped its tentacles around it with more confusion about the nature of this new thing in its world, then examined the edges, feeling its solidity. Reaching in and gaining purchase on the inside surface, it began to pull itself through, marveling at the warm tingly, yet slight stinging sensation on its skin.

                The scientists fiddled with the device with excited banter, enthusiastic about their apparent success. The device looked like an over-engineered paint spray gun. One of the scientists adjusted a setting on the machine, causing a pleasant harmonic tone to emanate from it. The other scientist poured a black viscous liquid into a small vat attached to the instrument with tubes, hoses, and electrical connections. The first scientist starts speaking into a recorder, taking verbal notes with a shaky, excited voice. “four-thirty two hertz to four forty hertz seems to be the correct resonant frequencies to properly align the filaments. We have achieved approximately….” He looks up at the other scientist and nods his head slightly, prompting the missing information.

                “Ninety-nine point nine, nine percent.” The other scientist reads off of a computer monitor in a matter-of-fact tone.

                “Yes, right. Ninety-nine point nine, nine percent of photon absorption.” He continued, “We have found with the increased amplitude and voltage, the harmonic frequencies will correctly align the carbon nanotubes vertically; gave us an additional twenty percent efficiency.” He said, his voice still quivering with obvious exhilaration.

                Tentacles wavered through the opening, touching the air feeling the strange tingle of the light. As it pushed deeper into the new expanse, it could feel a vibration of sound emanating from inside this new space. It waved a tentacle sniffing the air, searching for the source of the vibrations. With so many new sensations, the creature grew eager and more curious. It pulled itself through the hole, sniffing and feeling.

                With their backs turned away from the black painted surface, the scientists quickly prepared their device for the new round of testing; the creature probed a tentacle towards them. The probing tentacle extended toward the sound vibrations and detected a unique sensation that triggered a biological response; Hunger.

Horror · writing

Alone part 4 of 4

The familiar smell of cotton candy and popcorn filled his nose. He stood in the shadows between the sideshow tents, watching the crowds ebb and flow through curtained doors, laughing in nervous excitement at the oddities within.  The smooth handle of his mallet felt good in his hand. His pulse pounded through every vein in his body. He could feel the throb of his heart down to his fingertips. He stayed there, in the darkness, waiting for his chance, waiting for a new Luis to walk by. His patience waned more and more as his excitement grew. This ain’t workin!They never come close enough!  
 He walked around to a small alley that led to the sugar shacks. There was less foot traffic in the dark alley, but he could walk around in the open without drawing attention.  He started to pace up and down the alley when he saw two boys leave a concession, each holding a corn dog and cotton candy. One boy was about five years old, but the other looked like he was fourteen. Their hands were so full of food that they had a hard time managing the load and taking bites simultaneously.  There are two! How do I get them apart? Luis? How?  Then it came to him.   

Randolph started to run toward them, then tripped and fell hard on the hard ground. He let out a yelp of pain that was half acting and half true. He grabbed at his ankle then screamed again.  
” Ouch! I twisted my foot!” he cried, rolling around on the ground. The two boys ran to his aid, the older one reaching him first.  
  ”Hey! Are you all right?” he asked with genuine concern.  
 ”Oh! My ankle! I think I sprained it pretty bad.” Randolph rolled back and forth, hoping he was convincing. The little boy came bounding up, juggling his treats and almost dropping them once or twice. Randolph looked at the younger one. ”Hey, kid!” He winced. “My folks are at the funhouse mirrors. Go get em, will ya?” he pleaded, sounding deeply pained.  
 ”Uh, uh sure thing!” The little boy replied and then scampered off down the alley. Randolph watched him until he rounded a corner.  
 The older boy stood over Randolph holding his hand out, “Can ya stand up?”  
Randolph reached out his left hand and took hold. The boy pulled him to his feet. He caught sight of Randolph’s shriveled arm and yanked his hand away in disgust. That’s okay; he’ll get used to it.  
 Randolph looked at the boy, who was now looking very cautious. The boy stepped back, his eyes adjusting to the dark, started to see details of Randolph’s makeshift bandage. Randolph’s heart quickened as he gripped the mallet. The boy looked down at the mallet with a confused look. Randolph swung out. His hand moved fast, but he controlled it this time, taking care not to hit him too hard. The mallet connected with the side of his face. The confused look on his face twisted into pain, and then his knees crumpled. He started to scream out in pain as Randolph clocked him again, this time on the top of his skull. The boy wobbled but did not make any more noise.   

Randolph looked around to see if anyone saw them. Satisfied they were still alone, he reached down and pulled the boy over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.  The boy groaned, muffled by the awkward position. “Wha-why?” then went silent again. This trip was not as hard as the other time. It was much easier carrying the boy than dragging him, and Randolph was thankful.   See that, Luis! I told ya I’m no half-wit! I’ll show ya!  
The barn came into view, and that seemed to make the boy feel lighter all of a sudden. He could still feel his heart race at the excitement of it all. He almost giggled in delight at the sight of the barn. He slumped the boy down at the entrance then pulled him in. The small area was hard to move around in, now that there were three of them in there. He pulled at Alasdair. His stiff cold body proved much more difficult than he wanted, but he managed to get him out of the barn. He crawled back in, then propped the new boy where Alasdair was. He fumbled in the darkness, wishing he had thought to get a candle or lantern but found the small wooden box. Now we can be together… Now I don’t have to be alone!  
 Randolph unwrapped the burlap, the sticky dried blood pulled at his head and scalp, causing him to cringe.  He leaned back, putting his head next to the boy’s, reveling in the familiar sensation of closeness to another. He opened the wooden box. Silver glinted in the soft moonlight that filtered in through the cracks in the ceiling, the little metal points gleaming with purpose. He picked the largest needle from the box and then felt for the thread. Only short-end pieces, clipped from countless sewing projects, but nothing long enough for his task.  He pulled at the burlap, finding a strand and unraveling it from the weave. It took a few tries; in the dark, threading the large needle was difficult, and more so with his excited fingers shaking in anticipation. He lifted the needle to his head and thrust it in. He expected it would hurt, but he barely noticed the first stitch. The boy groaned when the needle pierced his scalp; the thick burlap fiber sounded like hemp rope sliding through canvas. Randolph kept the mallet at the ready in case the boy was roused. That’s okay… It will all be better very soon.   
 He pushed the needle in again, this one hurt a little, and he felt warm fluid drip down his head. The fluid had a putrid smell and did not feel as thick as blood.  It will be all better. It will heal up nicely, won’t it, Luis?  The dried scabs of blood that caked the burlap strand started to feel like razor blades slicing through his head as he did his work. His arm tired at the awkward position, but he kept at it. Almost done, Luis…Almost together again.  
  

End.